Hi,
I am about to face an MEB for a long list of medical conditions including severe fibromyalgia, chronic rhinitis, plantar fasciitis, arrhythmia, vcd and quite a few more. I was in therapy and on meds in 2007 for depression & anxiety but it didn't really help, so I gave up. I have been struggling with these things for years now as well as from obsessive compulsive disorder. The anxiety & depression, coupled with the constant pain and the other things have gotten so bad that shortly before my MEB referral, my leadership was so concerned with my mental state & pain levels that they put me on a modified work schedule and pushed me to see a psychiatrist. Yesterday I had my first meeting with a counselor (turns out he wasn't a psychiatrist) at Mental Health. I spoke with him for quite a while about the issues I have. At one point he asked me if I have ever been subjected to an event where I felt my life was in danger or other people died. I told him yes. He wanted me to elaborate but I told him that I can't due to its sensitive nature. Then he asked if this event still bothers me. In an effort to get off the topic, I said no. I don't know why I did that. I kinda panicked.
Here's my dilemma. I have broken down in tears for many many years when reminded & I have nightmares about it, sometimes for 3-4 nights straight. This event has been bothering me for a very long time & coincides slightly (1 year later) with the onset of my original anxiety, depression diagnosis. The problem is (besides the fact that I've never wanted to discuss it with anyone) that the event is classified. The potential loss of my clearance is one of the reasons I haven't sought mental health counseling in years. I have been thinking about it all night now & am somehow realizing now that this might be the reason for my OCD, anxiety, depression, or at least a contributing factor. What do I do?
I am about to face an MEB for a long list of medical conditions including severe fibromyalgia, chronic rhinitis, plantar fasciitis, arrhythmia, vcd and quite a few more. I was in therapy and on meds in 2007 for depression & anxiety but it didn't really help, so I gave up. I have been struggling with these things for years now as well as from obsessive compulsive disorder. The anxiety & depression, coupled with the constant pain and the other things have gotten so bad that shortly before my MEB referral, my leadership was so concerned with my mental state & pain levels that they put me on a modified work schedule and pushed me to see a psychiatrist. Yesterday I had my first meeting with a counselor (turns out he wasn't a psychiatrist) at Mental Health. I spoke with him for quite a while about the issues I have. At one point he asked me if I have ever been subjected to an event where I felt my life was in danger or other people died. I told him yes. He wanted me to elaborate but I told him that I can't due to its sensitive nature. Then he asked if this event still bothers me. In an effort to get off the topic, I said no. I don't know why I did that. I kinda panicked.
Here's my dilemma. I have broken down in tears for many many years when reminded & I have nightmares about it, sometimes for 3-4 nights straight. This event has been bothering me for a very long time & coincides slightly (1 year later) with the onset of my original anxiety, depression diagnosis. The problem is (besides the fact that I've never wanted to discuss it with anyone) that the event is classified. The potential loss of my clearance is one of the reasons I haven't sought mental health counseling in years. I have been thinking about it all night now & am somehow realizing now that this might be the reason for my OCD, anxiety, depression, or at least a contributing factor. What do I do?