New maybe I should tell my story

HittingBricks

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Ok first forgive me when I write my brain is like scramble eggs thou they say. I do not have TBI. and that is something. I want to fight because one duty station said they thought. I had and then this duty station said I do not have it and they gave me a test with asking me questions and told me I did not have it mind you. I have major headaches and terrible mood swings and dizzy and and other issues off balance but nope do not have it ok but. I got hit by a IED. I do want to request for a new TBI test done but not at this duty station can that be done? Anyways. I have been suffering for a long time but. I was doing the best. I could to cover it up and not say anything because. I wanted to Soldier on and do my duties. I have done 5 deployments my longest one was 18 months and my worst one was when. I got hit by a IED on my birthday. I still did my duties or I try to my best my duties but struggle but was in hiding it show on my NCOERS a little but not that bad well on a few maybe. I got amazing treatment at Walter Reed and got weekly mental health therapy there also then it came time for me to go to a other duty station and. I got Fort Stewart that is when. I struggle. I check in and was told no weekly therapy available we our short staff you will get monthly. I started getting major night sweats. I had them but they got worst. I then start soaking thru my uniforms during the day and was changing them during lunch time everyday. I thought it was the weather but did not know it was my PTSD, and anxiety. I started to self medicate myself with my medication taking extra medication and even told my mental health counselor he only increased my medication. I started to fall majorly. I ask to moved because. I felt like. I was in a hostile environment and my unit refused. I even ask to go to the WTU, they refused. I then started to not feel like. I wanted to live. I would not sleep. I was staying nonstop and still going to work. I did not feel comfortable with my mental health provider at all so it was hard to open up to him. I started to write on paper to wife at the house since all. I was doing at home was yelling and screaming at her. I then shut down completely and did not know if what was happening. I was shaking and I was pleading for help but no help was happening. I went to the ER on post and got push to the side. I went to the 2nd floor and a doctor who. I never meant before said to me oh my word how come no one has ever helped you our you ok. I started to cry. Im a man we do not cry. I told him help me he said he could not he was not my mental health doctor. I walked out and went home. I then lay in the bed did not speak to my wife did not go to work and my unit did not look for me my wife got in touch with someone and they helped me and within less then 6 hours. I was on a plane out of FORT STEWART to a inpatient treatment center to get help. I was there for 7 weeks. I then did 8 weeks of outpatient treatment when. I return which. I will be upfront was worthless. I have been requesting for them to send me back to where. I came from to do my outpatient since it is offer there and I did amazing there while. I was there. I learn so much and open up. I did not feel like people where out to get me. I come back to Fort Stewart and I feel like people our out to get me and work against me. I request to be put in the WTU again when I return they won't do the reason I say this is because I need help I get stress out I can not fill out papers its hard for me my wife has to do it all its hard for her too. I finally got put on a Medical Board well the 1st stage of it instead they where just wanting to kick me out and wanted me to fight with the VA for my benefits. I had to keep telling them I never ask to get hit by a IED and therefore they need to take care of me before I get out. I am lost because I really would like to go back to Ft Sam Houston where I was at for PTSD treatment and my wife was there also she got great care too and they helped here to know what. I'm dealing with and how to cope with a soldier with PTSD and well Ft Stewart does not have those resources and Im following back down again. so since I wrote a book my question is when I speak to my PEBLO should I say something. I feel I need to get inpatient again. I also need my TBI test done the right way not questions that where only 15 questions. That they gave me the day before I went to inpatient. Mind you also I have been in the military for 17 years also. any advise yo can give me would be wonderful since Im confused on so much.
 

gsfowler

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PEB Forum Veteran
@HittingBricks

Thank you very much for sharing your story, it really resonated with me, as I too struggled with TBI symptoms and was submitted for a MEB.

Being subjected to a IED blast changes your brain. Everything changes, the way you think, the way you love, the way you process your thoughts...everything.

It is not your fault that you were hit by one, and most certainly you did not ask for it.

There is help available, however your PEBLO is not the correct person to go to. Your PEBLO may be nice and understanding, but all they really do is process paperwork in regards to your MEB.

I highly recommend that you talk to your primary care manager and ask to get referred to physiatry. Please write this down exactly as it is written in bold, every letter and present it to your PCM.

A Physiatrist is a doctor that specializes in rehabilitative medicine. They are experts on TBI, and they can develop a treatment plan that may help improve your quality of life.

If you are willing to share any details with me, I can do some research on where you are currently stationed and who you should reach out to for help.
 

HittingBricks

PEB Forum Regular Member
PEB Forum Veteran
Registered Member
@gsfowler thanks for writing I did get the TBI test done by a physiatry here on post like. I said it was 15 questions if I remember and truly I won't lie was not in the mood to answer them because I was more concern about dying then answering dumb questions that day and like I said the next day I got out of my stressors and got put into a inpatient hospital

I want a new test and I want a scan of my brain something is wrong with me Im not the same I want to be here Im station at Fort Stewart yes I will talk to my primary care doctor and ask for a test to be done and request to be sent somewhere else Im not happy I want answers and my love life is gone it was gone the day I got hit by a IED but never had the courage to tell anyone but my wife sticks by my side she is the best and truly helps me out so much she is my rock she is even trying to find someone out in town to do testing for me and pay out of our pocket thank you but I need to try to get some sleep at least 2 hours if possible before I have to go to outpatient treatment today so hard for me to sleep medication works for a short time but Im up and at it with night sweats and tremors ugh
 

gsfowler

Super Moderator
Staff Member
PEB Forum Veteran
In my own situation, I found that the VA provided me with the best treatment for TBI. With the Army, I always felt as if I was getting the run around and that they did not want to accept that I had TBI related symptoms.

I was able to go to the VA while I was still on active duty (through Tricare) and it really worked out well for me.

The Physiatrist basically became my new primary care doctor and set me up with referrals to occupational therapy, physical therapy, kinesiology, neuropsychology, neuroophthalmology and neurology.

I had brain MRIs and CTs done, but the results were inconclusive. I hear now that there are blood tests available that can help assist in the diagnosis.

One thing that truly benefited me was when I started bringing my wife to my to my physiatry appointments. She was able to assist the doctor in identifying areas of deficiencies that I would forget to talk about.
 

chaplaincharlie

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@HittingBricks

Your story is very intense and moving. You may want to consider scheduling an appointment with your PCM and ask for a referral to psychiatry. If you are not successful, you may want to consider going to the patient advocate. If neither of those work, take leave and while traveling go to a civilian ER.
 
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