Dual Process MEB

I certainly appreciate everyone's support here. Like you I too have been dealing with for a long time. I don't want to go inpatient again. Honestly I just want to lay in bed all day but that's not a smart choice. I don't have the balls to pull the trigger so suicide is off the table. I may take you up in the phone call. Thanks for caring team!
 
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@katz11_11, So today I receive this. It still works out in my favor, but the fight with the Army is never over. Just stay strong and you will prevail
 
Sounds like you should use the Post 9/11 GI Bill as much as you can on the TDRL just in case, assuming the TDRL is honorable? The last line might as well read "because F you"
 
Camp P Marine said:
Sounds like you should use the Post 9/11 GI Bill as much as you can on the TDRL just in case, assuming the TDRL is honorable? The last line might as well read "because F you"
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The TDRL is honorable. I'm actually using VOC Rehab, and I'm not to worried because I know that I will be continued to be found unfit and moved to the PDRL. I'm 100 % P/T from VA and 50% from DOD. Also, they could never take away my post 9-11, because I had 9 years of prior "Honorable" service from my enlisted years.
 
icm1983 said:
The TDRL is honorable. I'm actually using VOC Rehab, and I'm not to worried because I know that I will be continued to be found unfit and moved to the PDRL. I'm 100 % P/T from VA and 50% from DOD. Also, they could never take away my post 9-11, because I had 9 years of prior "Honorable" service from my enlisted years.
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Thank you for fighting for your personal rights...I know you will do great things with your VR&E education.
 
Thanks for sharing and I'm guessing I'm waiting for a similar memo to come across my desk. It doesn't really matter anymore. My marriage is empty and my chain of command is daring me not to show up to formation one more time so they can put me in for an article 15. It's all funny to me now and I'm afraid I'm capable of doing some pretty stupid shit at this time in my life. I hardly sleep these days, I throw up whatever I eat and what little food makes its way I just crap it out in violent diarrhea. You could say I'm a little unhappy
 
Please try to stay positive, there is still a good chance this will turn out in your favor. When the CG sided with a chapter for me I was so upset that I overdosed. Bad idea. Not only did it not work but I realized later what it would have done to my daughter (she had just lost her father 6 months earlier). In the end, things worked out and the ARBA allowed me to retire. The same will most likely happen for you. Just hang on, I know it's hard but don't give up. I swear they make you wait this long just for this reason- to see if you give up before they let you retire. I will continue to send positive thoughts your way. Just take things a day at a time.
 
@katz11_11 , ljk1968 is correct. This is a "mental" game these folks like to play. If you look at one my earlier post, I went through two boards of inquiry, to resignation attempts, which resulted in denial. The Army really wanted to give me an Other than honorable, but I stayed strong and fought for a General, and I ended up with my retirement in the end. The reason it takes so long is because ARBA looks at the entire case and they are slow and bureaucratic like most of our government agencies. Also, ARBA is the type of organization that will return the packet for the slightest error. I remember them sending my packet back because the physical had expired and my COC waited 8 months to tell me. So the clock starts all over again when the packet arrives back at ARBA. They want to you to give up so they don't have to give you the benefits you've earned. Remember this all started for me back in December of 2013. I know the anxiety and depression of not knowing can eat away at you, but you have to stay the course. Stay with your treatment, keep your appointments and build your records, and please do not give your COC any reason to throw additional "paper" on you. I'f I'ma just a little WO1 and can prevail against the big green machine, I know you can too. Call me if you need and ear.
 
I've given up worrying about it. My mind has been corrupted with irrational thoughts for too long that I completely overlooked all the important facts in my life. Still getting a nice check each month, wife has stuck by me to this day, I'm gonna be employable when I get out and now I'm finally forgiving myself for my behavior.

Had a wonderful week, back in the gym and spending more time with the important people in my life vs internalizing and isolating myself.

Im good. And much thanks to everyone. My MEB was completed a year ago and the journey is indeed a long one and I gathered some strength from everyone on here. I'm not a bad person and I'm not looking to cash in on something I don't deserve. I just want to have some internal peace.
 
katz11_11 said:
I've given up worrying about it. My mind has been corrupted with irrational thoughts for too long that I completely overlooked all the important facts in my life. Still getting a nice check each month, wife has stuck by me to this day, I'm gonna be employable when I get out and now I'm finally forgiving myself for my behavior.

Had a wonderful week, back in the gym and spending more time with the important people in my life vs internalizing and isolating myself.

Im good. And much thanks to everyone. My MEB was completed a year ago and the journey is indeed a long one and I gathered some strength from everyone on here. I'm not a bad person and I'm not looking to cash in on something I don't deserve. I just want to have some internal peace.
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This idea may suck as far as being something you may want to do or are inclined to seek....but, strikes me, from what you have written, just from a health and safety point of view, you should be getting intensive outpatient care or (more likely) inpatient care. (Now, yes, this may also concurrently generate additionally evidence to support your case....but, that is not a relevant issue for your health.....bottom line, if you need help, get it and don't take no for an answer; I know this may be easier said than done or may be hard to execute. Still, get the care you need).

Hope all goes well for you. Best of luck!!
 
Thanks Jason, I am in an outpatient program at this time and have spent a good 5 months in an intensive program last year. You may be right but at this time it's not the avenue the doctors and I have are working towards. Considering I don't believe I'm at risk to hurt myself at this point. Every time I felt at risk I sought help and I'm better for it.

I've reopened my circle and brought in people I can trust. Im trying not to isolate and instead continuing friendships with those who have my best interests.

Had a candid conversation with my battalion commander and together we worked something out that works best for everyone and I'm grateful that he went out of his way to help me.

I still continue therapy twice a week. Been sober since march 8 2015. Im not very spiritual but I've found myself kneeling at my bedside when the nightmares are too much or when the aches and pains hurt. I've forgiven myself and will just wait and let it takes its course. I've finally realized the longer the better as I can work it out with my doctor while I'm here.


I appreciate everyone's support and I'll let you know how it plays out
 
Seems as if you have made some
Progress. It can be a monumental thing to take even the tiniest of steps. I know it was for me. I left the Army in Jan 2026 and was admitted to the inpatient psych ward in April. I was thinking of burning my house down with me inside it!! Not an easy method of suicide but those extremely dark thoughts had consumed me. I prevailed. I wish I could say I've had no suicidal thoughts since then but that would be a lie. Every day is a struggle. Yet now I am out and have been for 9 months. Every day it gets a little bit easier.

I still have some bad times and will be going for a referral for electroconulsive therapy (ECT) soon with the VA. I it st want to be rid of the plethora of drugs and be somewhat sane again.
 
Tony,

thank you for opening up and I appreciate that you have shared your situation with the forum. I now believe for the first time that I will have to stay on top of myself and maintain a healthy lifestyle from here till whenever the end may be. I took things for granted and never recognized the signs until it was too late. I am either very lucky or very blessed to have people in my life that care about me. I try to let those intrusive thoughts go in and out and not dwell on them. If I cry I tell myself to stop unless I just feel like it for the hell of it. Ive had two wonderful weeks and I just want to continue the momentum

Knowing your an old OCS guy did you have to wear the blue helmets and march to the drum?

Not me OCS 2011
 
I cant even imagine the kind of anxiety and pain you are going through holy shit you are one tough mo fo. Im sure things will work out for the best for you and your family just keep up with treatment I am sure you have seen there are plenty of people willing to listen if you need to vent or have been in similar situations and rely on them if need be if no one is there at work. If you ever need someone to vent to feel free to shoot me a message anytime
 
It's interesting. My reasons for joining this forum were strictly to get some information regarding the IDES process but what I've discovered is numerous accounts of people maintaining the strength and courage to persevere through difficult times. And when I reflect on the stories I've read it tells me I'm not alone and that I too can persevere through this chapter in my life.

I know I will miss some things about the army. Not the politics nor senior command trying to chapter Soldiers out of the army, but I'll miss the great people I've met and worked with. I'll never forget the friend I lost in Iraq and this whole journey, which includes the good and the bad, will continue to shape my life even when I'm out.

I would've had so many unanswered questions without this forum and I'm so ever grateful that it exists.
 
Glad you are looking ahead. Always remain positive. It gets hard. I would have loved to have stayed in but... with what I am seeing now this election... I am glad crohns disease was the reason I was separated. It sucks but it is better than wondering if I would have to sacrifice my integrity and work under a potential risk to national security... because I highly doubt a third party candidate will scoop up enough to win more than one or two states in the electoral college. A single third party needs to scoop up at least the three smallest states or two moderate sized states to prevent a majority win election should the two dominant parties split the others... 52% is required in the electoral college for a win otherwise the election is contested and the senate elects the president out of the two highest polling candidates and the house elects the VP... so in a contested election you could have a president and VP from opposing parties... that is what I am hoping... a need for a check and balance.
 
katz11_11 said:
It's interesting. My reasons for joining this forum were strictly to get some information regarding the IDES process but what I've discovered is numerous accounts of people maintaining the strength and courage to persevere through difficult times. And when I reflect on the stories I've read it tells me I'm not alone and that I too can persevere through this chapter in my life.

I know I will miss some things about the army. Not the politics nor senior command trying to chapter Soldiers out of the army, but I'll miss the great people I've met and worked with. I'll never forget the friend I lost in Iraq and this whole journey, which includes the good and the bad, will continue to shape my life even when I'm out.

I would've had so many unanswered questions without this forum and I'm so ever grateful that it exists.
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And your story will help new forum members like ours helped you. That's what we are all here for....brothers and sisters in arms. <3
 
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