Good Evening! I'm new to this group although I did follow the forum for a few weeks prior to actually making an account. My story is slightly unique and also on top of it, I'm not even sure what is happening. To give a relatively brief explanation of everything - I'm AD USAF, been in 9 years with a deployment under my belt (non-combat related). I'm currently at a GSU and over the past 3 years I was diagnosed with PTSD, potentially complex PTSD. I grew up abused, although I don't remember much, which I don't find that to be an issue ironically. I was in an abusive marriage by the age of 20, and by the age of 23 I was remarried to someone else and being black mailed and sexually assault for roughly about 2 years by a higher ranking member of my unit. I never made any complaint in regards to what was going on then because 1. I was told by a VA that I would get an article 15 because it sounded like I was just another cheating spouse who had gotten caught. 2. My husband told me he would leave me if he ever found out anything was happening (he was under the impression I was having a mutual affair at that time - he now knows the truth). 3. I was very young, single mom as my sons father wasn't relevant and my husband was stationed in a different time zone, and I was being told by the person who was doing this to me that he would ruin my career - things like "I'll tell the shirt you're having an affair and you'll lose your rank" keep in mind I was a SrA at highest rank, I was an A1C when it all started and this person was an NCO. Or that he would make sure that I was found to be an unfit mother, which I wasn't. Too pretty much summarize all of that - I was just young, scared, and alone and had no one on my side so I kept it quiet. That person left after about 2 years of hell, I was going TDY, deploying, and then immediately PCS'd so I was able to just continuously run away.
Fast forward about a year into my PCS - I slowly started mentally unravelling. I would be overly aggressive, even physical with my partner. I wouldn't get out of bed on the weekends and I was constantly in a state of panic. Although I was able to hide everything because I had become so good at it - I wasn't okay anymore. After about a year of therapy it was finally diagnosed as PTSD. I've been seeing a psychologist for about a year and a half - two years and psychiatrist now for about 6 months give or take. Meds have changed multiple times, especially over the time frame of trying to find a diagnosis. All this was done on local doctors as I'm at a location with no MTF however I've maintained all records of everything. Along with PTSD, I have to go thru another ankle surgery for the 2nd time in 3 years because my ankle has lost all stability even after the first surgery that anchored the salvaged ligaments down. Oh but wait, theres more.. I hurt my back when I was deployed and the USAF decided to just keep telling me to take over the counter meds and it'll get better. Fast forward about 4 years and MRI scans and NeuroSpine specialist appointments later, I have a L4/L5 disc bulge with an annural tear. I've gone through the process to have the nerves burned in my lower back - no relief. I've also had steroid shots into my back - still nothing. After multiple appointments and treatments, the only thing that they can come up with to do is a disc fusion. Again, these are all civilian doctors and the medical care where I am is quite exceptional in comparison to what I've had on MTFs. No back surgery for me as of yet since I'm only 29 however the back is getting worse and I have pain running down my leg constantly. Even when I'm laying flat.
Now all of that leads me to this, My commander along with a AF Doctor stationed here but with no affiliation to me (with my permission) reached out to my parent command to advise them that I was having medical issues here that could be considered for an MEB. Although with the shut down currently happening - I'm still scheduled to go Med-TDY to the base and have all the military doctors look over me. I'm within a PCS window to go back stateside however from initial conversations with the PCM designated for GSUs - it sounds like they want to just evaluate me, remove me out of here early and place me to a new base that has all the necessary facilities. I have ankle surgery scheduled here in March which they didn't like so they've decided to get me up there ASAP so they can do there evals but I'm slightly in a state of confusion. What is all of this going to do? Are they just taking notes, then tagging me off to a new base a letting them handle whatever the future holds? Would they freeze me here and process an MEB? It all leaves me concerned. They have a platter to choose from when it comes to MEB-able conditions, but I'm sure mental health will be a big one. Although they've told me that just because I've been diagnosed with PTSD I wouldn't necessarily be removed from service, I'm not naive enough to trust all of what they say. I'm not concerned if I'm separated or retired - if that's the end result, that what it was supposed to be. What I'm concerned about is being pushed back into a already broken system and being lost in the mix. With me having a history of abuse all throughout my life I worry that they would deem it as something that was "pre-existent" to military service when realistically it never affected me. I grew up with it, so it was my norm. When the sexual assault and the mental games started when I was 23, that's when everything changed for me. I'm just worried that I'm going to get screwed over in this entire process.
If anyone has any advice, ideas, insight, whatever it may be, please let me know. I've asked questions but since it's still so early on and they're just evals I've gotten little response to what they really will do with me. Help!
Fast forward about a year into my PCS - I slowly started mentally unravelling. I would be overly aggressive, even physical with my partner. I wouldn't get out of bed on the weekends and I was constantly in a state of panic. Although I was able to hide everything because I had become so good at it - I wasn't okay anymore. After about a year of therapy it was finally diagnosed as PTSD. I've been seeing a psychologist for about a year and a half - two years and psychiatrist now for about 6 months give or take. Meds have changed multiple times, especially over the time frame of trying to find a diagnosis. All this was done on local doctors as I'm at a location with no MTF however I've maintained all records of everything. Along with PTSD, I have to go thru another ankle surgery for the 2nd time in 3 years because my ankle has lost all stability even after the first surgery that anchored the salvaged ligaments down. Oh but wait, theres more.. I hurt my back when I was deployed and the USAF decided to just keep telling me to take over the counter meds and it'll get better. Fast forward about 4 years and MRI scans and NeuroSpine specialist appointments later, I have a L4/L5 disc bulge with an annural tear. I've gone through the process to have the nerves burned in my lower back - no relief. I've also had steroid shots into my back - still nothing. After multiple appointments and treatments, the only thing that they can come up with to do is a disc fusion. Again, these are all civilian doctors and the medical care where I am is quite exceptional in comparison to what I've had on MTFs. No back surgery for me as of yet since I'm only 29 however the back is getting worse and I have pain running down my leg constantly. Even when I'm laying flat.
Now all of that leads me to this, My commander along with a AF Doctor stationed here but with no affiliation to me (with my permission) reached out to my parent command to advise them that I was having medical issues here that could be considered for an MEB. Although with the shut down currently happening - I'm still scheduled to go Med-TDY to the base and have all the military doctors look over me. I'm within a PCS window to go back stateside however from initial conversations with the PCM designated for GSUs - it sounds like they want to just evaluate me, remove me out of here early and place me to a new base that has all the necessary facilities. I have ankle surgery scheduled here in March which they didn't like so they've decided to get me up there ASAP so they can do there evals but I'm slightly in a state of confusion. What is all of this going to do? Are they just taking notes, then tagging me off to a new base a letting them handle whatever the future holds? Would they freeze me here and process an MEB? It all leaves me concerned. They have a platter to choose from when it comes to MEB-able conditions, but I'm sure mental health will be a big one. Although they've told me that just because I've been diagnosed with PTSD I wouldn't necessarily be removed from service, I'm not naive enough to trust all of what they say. I'm not concerned if I'm separated or retired - if that's the end result, that what it was supposed to be. What I'm concerned about is being pushed back into a already broken system and being lost in the mix. With me having a history of abuse all throughout my life I worry that they would deem it as something that was "pre-existent" to military service when realistically it never affected me. I grew up with it, so it was my norm. When the sexual assault and the mental games started when I was 23, that's when everything changed for me. I'm just worried that I'm going to get screwed over in this entire process.
If anyone has any advice, ideas, insight, whatever it may be, please let me know. I've asked questions but since it's still so early on and they're just evals I've gotten little response to what they really will do with me. Help!