I'm hoping someone can give me at least a shred of hope here, as I seem to be all out. This situation is about my husband of over 21 years and my struggle to survive - and sometimes that is a quite literal proposition.
Some background: He was in the Navy for 7 years, injured his knee. Had arthroscopic surgery and the DX was chrondomalasia, a degenerative disease. Just weeks after this surgery he was assigned to sea duty and that caused problems (the rocking of the boat irritated his knee) so, he was boarded out of the Navy in 1996 with a 10% rating.
He wanted nothing more than to stay in, and had to jump through all kinds of hoops and loops to get to where he could try to do that. The Army was not accepting prior service at the time, so it was suggested that he should continue trying by joining the Guard or Reserves and wait for an opportunity to return to AD service.
Joined the ARNG in 1999, where he served as a Reservist until his deployment to Iraq in 2003. Finished 1st tour and was released in 2005.
After 2 months of chasing down paperwork to be released from the ARNG (they don't like to let you go), enlisted in the Active Army June of 2005. Reported to Ft Leonard Wood and then went on to report at Schofield Barracks Aug 2005. He did wind up getting a permanent profile and was excused from the run and performed the walk as an alternative for his APFT.
Deployed for 2 additional Iraq tours while stationed here.
There are a lot of details I'm leaving out here, but to get to the point: He started having issues with outbursts of rage and just general irritability in between the Guard tour and his enlistment in AD. At the time, I thought it was caused by the stress the ARNG was giving him trying to make it difficult to transition to the AD Army. They (the guard) had also royally screwed him out of his promotion in a manner that was legal then, but had since changed when addressed by modified regs. At the time, though, Soldiers couldn't be promoted while deployed because they couldn't attend the required schools (PLDC then) and he did not deploy with his own unit, so the CO declared that to be a DQ for promotion. (The guard really sucks, in case you haven't gathered that LOL)
On his 2nd tour, he was promoted to SGT. There was a 12 month dwell time prior to the 3rd deployment. At this point, he was very irritable and agitated and it became very apparent he was having issues, but there's no time to focus on that because it's time for NTC again, etc. etc....Drive on...
He had intentions of applying for Warrant, and when the opportunity arose, he was trying to get his packet in order to apply. There were issues with the S-1 of his unit, and the fact that he was not stationed on the FOB with the unit, but at a JSS, his frustration, while somewhat warranted, got the best of him. He did continue to submit the same paperwork over and over only to wait a month and have them say they did not receive it, etc.. He was just not doing well at all mentally at a point and basically just gave up on everything. After I had a conversation with the Btn CO in regard to the frustration, the issues with the S-1 were monitored and addressed by the LTC, but my husband was just in this free fall and although I did the best I could to keep supporting him to move forward, it became very volatile and he just got angrier and angrier at everything, and I mean EVERY little thing sometimes, and then completely passive other times.
He *finally* was scheduled for a promotion board after more than 10 months into the deployment, and it was on a bad day for him and he totally blew it. Totally. As in excused from the board.
He has been crashing very hard for years now and I've been helpless to do anything. After he redeployed June 2011, I've basically lived in constant fear. He has sudden, unreasonable and outrageous outbursts over literally nothing sometimes. I work with the Garrison Chaplain, and I tried to get help through that avenue, speaking to his Btn Chaplain Jan 2012 and basically being blown off. I reached out to his 1SG in March, which I was hesitant to do because my husband couldn't stand him, and I learned he was right on that account, because in response to my requesting assistance with my husband threatening suicide and otherwise desperately needing mental health attention, the 1SG responded to me that he (1SG) basically lived at the office and time off for appointments was for slackers and dirtbags. If I really needed help, he said, I would call the MPs and have him arrested when he was behaving violently. The Company Commander (CPT) was present and remained silent in agreement with this statement. (*note: He did tell me that he had informed them of his suicidal thoughts/mental problems during the redeployment screening, this was NEVER followed up by anyone.)
So, as you probably guessed, he was denied re-enlistment due to RCP. Slated to ETS 10/31. Things got even worse (which I hadn't even imagined was possible), but at least because of that, he did seek help from Behavioral Health. This is a good thing, but the reality is that my husband doesn't recall his outbursts and also will go to extremes to not discuss his behavior even when he does recall. He basically was being treated for suicidal thoughts and irritability, but I know for certain he didn't recount the extent or duration of his issues because his MEB Psych paperwork says he states the onset to have been around Jan 2012.
During an ortho appointment in June 2012, the doc decided he should send him to MEB for his knee.
So, they find him unfit for the knee (because that's easy, that EPTS and is the Navy's claim) and fit for his shoulder, ankles, back (all service related due to minor injuries) and Major Depressive Disorder, Recurrent, Severe. His Psychologist (I think the VA) DX is PTSD w/MDD, but the Psychiatrist (civilian) said not PTSD.
How does this even make sense? He says he appealed the findings, so I don't know what happens now. He got a 6 month extension and now is set to ETS in April. I don't know what to do, or if I even can do anything anyway. He will sometimes go for weeks or months and not speak to me, just sleeping as soon as he gets home or being angry or just locked away in his head someplace. They have him on psych meds and that basically keeps him in zombie mode. The only way I know when they change his meds is because he might actually be awake a few hours after work. He's probably in a rage, but he's awake...
I've lived through 6 years with him being thousands of miles away in some war zone, and he's never been so far away from me in all these years as he is now, when he's sitting right next to me. Naturally, I have developed my own issues as a result of this and some days I am just so ready for it all to be over and I realize that I may not be able to keep driving on in order to maintain my own sanity and safety. But, I thought I'd just ask you folks that have been through this crazy system for any guidance you may be inclined to offer.
Blessings for reading & apologies for it being so long.
Some background: He was in the Navy for 7 years, injured his knee. Had arthroscopic surgery and the DX was chrondomalasia, a degenerative disease. Just weeks after this surgery he was assigned to sea duty and that caused problems (the rocking of the boat irritated his knee) so, he was boarded out of the Navy in 1996 with a 10% rating.
He wanted nothing more than to stay in, and had to jump through all kinds of hoops and loops to get to where he could try to do that. The Army was not accepting prior service at the time, so it was suggested that he should continue trying by joining the Guard or Reserves and wait for an opportunity to return to AD service.
Joined the ARNG in 1999, where he served as a Reservist until his deployment to Iraq in 2003. Finished 1st tour and was released in 2005.
After 2 months of chasing down paperwork to be released from the ARNG (they don't like to let you go), enlisted in the Active Army June of 2005. Reported to Ft Leonard Wood and then went on to report at Schofield Barracks Aug 2005. He did wind up getting a permanent profile and was excused from the run and performed the walk as an alternative for his APFT.
Deployed for 2 additional Iraq tours while stationed here.
There are a lot of details I'm leaving out here, but to get to the point: He started having issues with outbursts of rage and just general irritability in between the Guard tour and his enlistment in AD. At the time, I thought it was caused by the stress the ARNG was giving him trying to make it difficult to transition to the AD Army. They (the guard) had also royally screwed him out of his promotion in a manner that was legal then, but had since changed when addressed by modified regs. At the time, though, Soldiers couldn't be promoted while deployed because they couldn't attend the required schools (PLDC then) and he did not deploy with his own unit, so the CO declared that to be a DQ for promotion. (The guard really sucks, in case you haven't gathered that LOL)
On his 2nd tour, he was promoted to SGT. There was a 12 month dwell time prior to the 3rd deployment. At this point, he was very irritable and agitated and it became very apparent he was having issues, but there's no time to focus on that because it's time for NTC again, etc. etc....Drive on...
He had intentions of applying for Warrant, and when the opportunity arose, he was trying to get his packet in order to apply. There were issues with the S-1 of his unit, and the fact that he was not stationed on the FOB with the unit, but at a JSS, his frustration, while somewhat warranted, got the best of him. He did continue to submit the same paperwork over and over only to wait a month and have them say they did not receive it, etc.. He was just not doing well at all mentally at a point and basically just gave up on everything. After I had a conversation with the Btn CO in regard to the frustration, the issues with the S-1 were monitored and addressed by the LTC, but my husband was just in this free fall and although I did the best I could to keep supporting him to move forward, it became very volatile and he just got angrier and angrier at everything, and I mean EVERY little thing sometimes, and then completely passive other times.
He *finally* was scheduled for a promotion board after more than 10 months into the deployment, and it was on a bad day for him and he totally blew it. Totally. As in excused from the board.
He has been crashing very hard for years now and I've been helpless to do anything. After he redeployed June 2011, I've basically lived in constant fear. He has sudden, unreasonable and outrageous outbursts over literally nothing sometimes. I work with the Garrison Chaplain, and I tried to get help through that avenue, speaking to his Btn Chaplain Jan 2012 and basically being blown off. I reached out to his 1SG in March, which I was hesitant to do because my husband couldn't stand him, and I learned he was right on that account, because in response to my requesting assistance with my husband threatening suicide and otherwise desperately needing mental health attention, the 1SG responded to me that he (1SG) basically lived at the office and time off for appointments was for slackers and dirtbags. If I really needed help, he said, I would call the MPs and have him arrested when he was behaving violently. The Company Commander (CPT) was present and remained silent in agreement with this statement. (*note: He did tell me that he had informed them of his suicidal thoughts/mental problems during the redeployment screening, this was NEVER followed up by anyone.)
So, as you probably guessed, he was denied re-enlistment due to RCP. Slated to ETS 10/31. Things got even worse (which I hadn't even imagined was possible), but at least because of that, he did seek help from Behavioral Health. This is a good thing, but the reality is that my husband doesn't recall his outbursts and also will go to extremes to not discuss his behavior even when he does recall. He basically was being treated for suicidal thoughts and irritability, but I know for certain he didn't recount the extent or duration of his issues because his MEB Psych paperwork says he states the onset to have been around Jan 2012.
During an ortho appointment in June 2012, the doc decided he should send him to MEB for his knee.
So, they find him unfit for the knee (because that's easy, that EPTS and is the Navy's claim) and fit for his shoulder, ankles, back (all service related due to minor injuries) and Major Depressive Disorder, Recurrent, Severe. His Psychologist (I think the VA) DX is PTSD w/MDD, but the Psychiatrist (civilian) said not PTSD.
How does this even make sense? He says he appealed the findings, so I don't know what happens now. He got a 6 month extension and now is set to ETS in April. I don't know what to do, or if I even can do anything anyway. He will sometimes go for weeks or months and not speak to me, just sleeping as soon as he gets home or being angry or just locked away in his head someplace. They have him on psych meds and that basically keeps him in zombie mode. The only way I know when they change his meds is because he might actually be awake a few hours after work. He's probably in a rage, but he's awake...
I've lived through 6 years with him being thousands of miles away in some war zone, and he's never been so far away from me in all these years as he is now, when he's sitting right next to me. Naturally, I have developed my own issues as a result of this and some days I am just so ready for it all to be over and I realize that I may not be able to keep driving on in order to maintain my own sanity and safety. But, I thought I'd just ask you folks that have been through this crazy system for any guidance you may be inclined to offer.
Blessings for reading & apologies for it being so long.
I have a few questions. What was your husband's job during deployments? Also, what did the psychiatrist diagnose if not PTSD...and I guess this psychiatrist is the MEB pysch who wrote NARSUM? Is your husband appealing MEB findings or PEB findings? 
I fully understand that you have little faith in your entire situation with your husband getting any better...as I'm sure he can't see himself ever getting better. I know it is very dark times for both of you, but things can get better. Obviously, I'm speaking in a vacuum and don't know everything about your situation. Ok...this is all getting a little too deep...lol. Hang in there and do what you gotta do for yourself. 
