djtutolo,
I'm very sorry to hear of your wife's condition. I hope everything turns out okay. I'm surprised that she was not put through the MEB/PEB before leaving active duty, you mentioned she ETS'd, was her unit/chain-of-command aware of her condition prior to her leaving active duty?
She already receives 100% base pay through the VA, so if she is retired it won't make any difference, right (becuase you can't recieve retirement and VA disability at the same time)?
You are correct, she can't receive both retirement and VA disability pay at the same time.
So, in this case, it would be in her best interested to just get separated and get severence pay?
In my opinion (it is far from the most expert opinion on this forum) I don't think it matters either way. If she receives severance it will be recouped by the VA anyway, from what I understand it would almost be like a 'front' of her VA disability pay and they would simply recoup it until the severance is paid back. I could very well be wrong here, but as far as I know, the only ones with special treatment as far as severance pay are those who incurred or aggravated injuries in a combat zone/during combat.
If she is retired she will be entitled to full medical benefits from DoD, which as you most assuredly know, is extremely valuable.
Does anyone know how to contact the folks who do med boards for the reserves to follow up on this?
I am active duty Army so I can't really offer any accurate information in regard to this question. I would recommend identifying her unit's surgeon or PA and working up the ladder. Perhaps you would be able to ascertain some phone numbers and/or office locations that way.
I apologize I could not be of more help, hopefully another moderator or forum member with some experience on the reserve component side can offer some more useful advice. I hope everything turns out well for you and your wife!